It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
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