She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
