ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
