Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
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