I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
