That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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