i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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