I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
They are going to name an STD after you.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize