All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
