i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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