I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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