I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Is it because I queefed?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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