Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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