OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i dont even know how to be here
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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