Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
