Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Randomize