only you would photoshop your dick
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
