Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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