She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
