I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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