Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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