I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
