The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
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