): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
they need to just BURY HIM!
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
