I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
