I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
