Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
