shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
