what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
