My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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