Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
