i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize