woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize