i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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