She announced her abortion via fbk
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
