doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize