i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Randomize
