We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
