So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
