he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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