I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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