Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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