Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
