apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
