It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
