Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
