I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
