I want to walk on stilts...naked
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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