you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
