My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize