My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
