Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
