I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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