I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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