You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize