if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
