just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Randomize
